We put so much emphasis on the dreaming – DREAM BIG! All the time!
What if you took time off from dreaming and commited to doing? Starting now. Like today. Right now.
What if you put as much energy into taking action as you do talking about what you want and where you want to be?
Don’t tell me about your dreams to be a painter.
Don’t tell me about your dreams to be a writer.
Write every day. Write every moment. Write like a motherfucker.
Without action, your dreams are meaningless.
Focus on being amazing and the dreams part will fall into place.
Are you willing to DO whatever it takes to make your dreams come true? If not, they might not be the right dreams.
If so, what are you waiting for?
*grahic by Erin Cassidy for Tiffany Han Coaching
There's this perception of internet-peoples as being fearless-never-having-doubts type people.
That perception is false. And rampant.
I have doubts. All the time.
Sometimes, they are quiet whispers saying "You know this isn't going to work, right? You know that no one is going to want this."
Sometimes, they are LOUD - screaming at the top of their lungs, waving their arms, saying, "THIS IS THE WORST IDEA EVER. I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT. THE WORLD IS NOT GOING TO WELCOME THIS IDEA."
Sometimes, they are moments - the briefest of seconds - where I pause and leave my entrepreneurial daze to see that what I'm doing by buidling this business and stepping so far out into the unknown seems *crazy.*
I have these doubts daily. They used to really knock me out. I'd have to psyche myself up for dealing with them, warm up like a prize fighter going into the ring. Or I'd drag my feet, procrastinating execution because, according to my Doubts - the outcome was certain.
Now the doubts don't come as often - they are the contractions at the beginning of the birth - few and far between, but OH. When they happen, I notice. Like whoa.
The secret is this: I keep going anyway. I pause and take the doubts in. I cry. I curse. I think it's unfair and that I can't continue. But then I do. I get up, brush my shoulders off, and carry on.
The only way to guarantee the outcome of a creative endeavor is to quit.
So don't fucking let yourself quit. It's really as simple as that.
*grahic by Erin Cassidy for Tiffany Han Coaching
We all know about the power of yes. About how compelling it can be to raise your hand and say yes to something and trust that you’ll figure it all out and be just fine.
But what if, rather than gingerly dipping your toe into the calm surface, you cannonballed into the deep end of yes?
What if you make out with YES, the sloppy, one-drink-too-many kind of making out, reckless and hurried – where you give yourself up to it, reveling in the unknown, in the thrill, in the possibility of what’s to come?
Which would you rather do?
How might things shift for you if, for just one week, you said yes, not in a cautious way, but in a “Look out world, here I come, and it’s going to be AMAZING.” Kind of way?
Cause, baby, you’re that good. And you’re that hot. And you’re that can’t-fail-cause-you’re-just-too-fucking-fantastic.
Ready to get out of your own way?
*Graphic by Erin Cassidy for Tiffany Han Coaching
You may not realize it, but you are teaching me all the time.
Every time you second guess yourself, you are telling me that it’s okay not to have faith in my instinct.
Every time you turn away from your beloved in anger or sadness or frustration or boredom, you are telling me that it’s okay to be in a relationship that doesn’t illuminate me.
Every time you apologize for an emotion or for looking a certain way, you are telling me that it’s okay to offer excuses for how I feel and how I look.
Every time you criticize your body, you are telling me that beauty is found on the outside and that I may never live up to your standard.
Every time you acquiesce because you just can’t fucking deal with it right now, you are telling me that settling for fine is good enough.
Every time you conform to a life that is less than remarkable, you are telling me that’s okay, that’s how it’s done, and that’s what you have to do.
But when you sing out loud, no matter what, you are telling me that my voice matters.
When you speak up for yourself through the tears in your eyes, you are telling me that I am worth more.
When you refuse to apologize for your life and for your feelings and for your actions, you are telling me that I can be anything and do anything in this life and that I don’t have to wait for someone else to hand it to me.
When you delight in your own being, you are telling me that I can, not only, give myself that kind of love but that I’m deserving of it from others.
And when you live your life for yourself, surrounded by only things that make you come alive, not settling for less than amazing, not willing to compromise on your values and principles, you are not only handing me the keys to my own extraordinary life, but providing me with the how to guide as well.
You are teaching me all the time. And you get to write the lessons.
*Photo & Graphic by Erin Cassidy
I'm so excited to be taking part in Mara Glatzel & Tamarisk Sauders-Davies asked me to be a part of their perfectly imperfect project. Although, when they asked me to write about self-care, I said, "are you sure? I have strong opinions." And cause they're awesome, they welcomed me with open arms. You can find out more and see the other GORGEOUS souls joining me on my journey here.
I think self-care is bullshit.
I know. You guys, I know.
I'm a life coach. I should be all about self-care. And I am. Sort of.
Yes, I'm always asking my clients how they're taking care of themselves. Yes, I often give them the homework of taking multiple days off or going to yoga or spending time away from the distractions of social media and the internets and the things they think they *should* be doing.
Yes, so in that respect, I'm all for self-care.
But I don't call it self-care. Because I think that self-care has become rhetoric that isn't useful to most people. Because I hear people claim self-care as a way to avoid responsiblities. Or to support a lifestyle that leads to constant burnout. Or as an excuse for destructive behavior.
I see people leaning on the crutch of self-care without deciding what it means to them on a personal level, and, most times, it doesn't work.
So, rather than talk about the candles and bubble baths and epic days off that tend to come to mind when talking about self-care, I wanted to show what my self-care routine looks like these days:
* working until 11pm because I know I need to get things done and this is the only time I can do them
* honoring my need for rest with lots of 20-minute naps, sometimes even in my car between appointments or errands
* taking my email off of my phone so that I can have time away from my inbox
* setting up systems for staying organized when I move my office into my home
* not taking days off and putting all of my available energy into my coaching business so that I can *finally* stop working at my part-time job and do this 100%
* taking the leap and hiring a Blog Manager (omg! I'm so excited!) to help me actually turn my blog into something consistent, even though I'm not "ready"
* cutting back on the number of days each week that I'm available to coach so that I have chunks of time available to work on other projects
The work of an entrepreneur isn't concise. We don't come in every day at 9 and leave promptly at 6 with an hour lunch and two 15 minute breaks in between. My water cooler is usally twitter, and the co-workers that I see there are some of the most amazing people I've ever (virtually) met in my life.
And it's beautiful and it's messy and it's hard to define. We make it up as we go along, and for many of use, self-care means busting our asses to get the job done. Because at the end of the day, there's no one who's going to sign your paycheck when you're only working at 65%.
And I wouldn't trade it for a thing.
To you: What are your feelings about self-care? How does it (really) show up in your life?