a gratitude challenge

Can y'all believe that Thanksgiving is just around the corner? Craziness!

Because it's nearly Thanksgiving and because talk of gratitude has been in the air, I couldn't help but share this. This was homework for a client in a coaching session over the weekend, and it's too brilliant not to let the rest of you know about it!

Will you, between now and Thanksgiving, commit to not only embracing the idea of gratitude, but also to sharing your gratitude with the people most important to you?

How it works:

Make a list of the 9 people in your life that are the most important to you and then come up with a list of 10 things that you are grateful to each of them for.

Also, make a list for yourself - what are you most grateful to for yourself?

Then - here's the big step - share the list with each of these people. Tell them how much they mean to you and how important they are to you. And have a moment with yourself to trust why you're such a freaking awesome human being.

Yes?! Yes.

I'm planning to do this before the end of November. Wanna take part? Leave a comment to let me know you're in. And then hop to it. We can circle back in December to see how it went.

{gobble, gobble}

I've been wanting to tell you...

I’ve been wanting to tell you that I think you are beautiful. I think you are beatiful and kind, and right where you need to be in this world.

I’ve been wanting to tell you that I know you think you’re the only one who feels the way that you do, who has the struggles that you have, that you think everyone else has it different, that you’re in this all by yourself.

Don’t believe it. Don’t believe the little lies and the whispers that you hear when your beautiful, dreaming, crazy mind starts playing tricks on you.

The whispers come because you do want more, and you know it and you’re starting to move towards that for yourself.

They are the confusion that happens when you start saying no to everyone else’s conventional wisdom and doing your own thing.

They are the fear that comes up when you are up to REALLY BIG THINGS for yourself.

And even though they seem big and loud and real to you, the only power they have is the power you give them.

I've been wanting to tell you that you get to choose what to do with them, choose to listen or not listen, choose to decide who you want to respond, how you want to react, how you show up despite the voices.

And I've been wanting to tell you that you've got this, and that you are amazing. You've got this. I know it.

the thing about crickets.

On Monday, I sent my newsletter out to over 400 people announcing the launch of my new group coaching experience - 30 Day Social Media Rehab. Spoiler alert: 2 days later, not a single person had signed up.

This is a program I believe in, that I am excited to offer, a program that I think every single creative person who has an online persona can identify with and benefit from.

It has been crafted from working with numerous clients who I've seen suffer the internet paralysis that happens when we spend too much of our time online. It's been crafted from challenging those clients to walk away from facebook and blogs and seeing the magic that they are able to create in their lives while away.

It's been based on my own experiences: how easy it is for me to slip into these patterns, pull myself out and then slip right back in again. Facebook can be my crutch. And I often wish that it weren't a part of my life, because without it, I would be so much more productive (sound familiar?)

So yes, it is something that I've put my head and my heart into - something that I've grown tired of talking about in hypotheticals and decided I was ready to put it out there.

Bam. Out there. My birthday. And then...nothing...crickets...not a single person signed up.

For two entire days, my newsletter sat out there in the ethos. People emailed me with questions and sent facebook messages (ironic, huh?) saying what a good idea they thought it was, but still...no sign ups.

And wow, what a disappointment. Luckily, I had my birthday awesomeness to distract me, but I was bummed. I felt let down. I felt like a failure.

And I considered scrapping the whole thing. I thought - well, if no one is going to sign up, what's the point? Obviously, nobody else thinks this is a good idea. I'm just an idiot for even putting it out there. I actually felt bad for a moment for even thinking to send an email out to my list for this.

I started to believe all of those made up stories that I can sometimes tell myself about my worth and my value and the kind of work that I do. I started to believe that I wasn't enough, that I'd never be enough, and started to let those 48 hours of no response dictate how I felt about my choice in careers and the work that I did.

I spent my time thinking about what was wrong, instead of thinking about what was right.

Until I stopped. Yesterday, I went back to my sales page for the program and read it again - yep, it still resonated. Yep, it still summed up my offer. Yep, it still highlighted why I think this work is important.

And then I thought about myself and where I would be if I saw something like this being offered. I might be intrigued, excited even, but I also might be really scared. Scared to walk away from something that is so safe and so familiar. Scared to try something new. Scared to actually commit 30 days to living my BIG dreams, to my big life, to actually getting down to it and moving all the bullshit out of my way.

Then yesterday, a funny thing happened: someone signed up. One person made the decision to trade me a small sum of money for her experience and her trust in me and what I'm offering. That is a really big deal, something I don't take lightly.

But even before I'd gotten that notification, I'd already decided that I was all in. Even if I had to run it for pretend people or convince a bunch of my friends to take it - the work is more important that my ego. The work is bigger than me - this is work that I owe it to the world to see through.

And that's the funny thing about crickets - sometimes they can make you feel all alone out there, and convince you that it's time to give up. But sometimes, they have the ability to make you see what's bigger - that there is an entire world out there waiting for you to actually care so much about something that you're willing to go all in, no matter what, because it's that important.

The crickets help highlight what's worth fighting for, worth going to the mat for - what's that important that you'd risk looking like a fool, or having to ask for help to see happen? What's worth seeing through even when it isn't easy?

And so, today, I'm grateful to the crickets.

PS. Yes, you are still welcome to register if the thought of being without facebook and blogs and pinterest and all of that both thrills and scares you. You might actually have fun.

13 before 2013

Things I'd like to do before 2013:

1. Write and post at least 13 blog posts.

2. Launch my first group coaching experience (coming later this week...omg!) (UPDATE: It's launched and registration is open!)

3. Learn something new - I keep coming back to this online class, and just registered for a workshop here.

4. Have at least one day where I have nothing (NOTHING!) planned.

5. Go somewhere overnight with Tim. I'm ready for a 24-hour reconnection break.

6. Start a daily offering - either a phone line or affirmation or pep talk. I'm still working out the details, but this sounds super fun to me.

7. Watch the final Twilight movie - I can't wait to see Bella as a vampire!

8. Buy a pair of cowboy boots. I've been wanting a pair of these for so long. It's time.

9. Get 13 rejection letters - I'm going to have to extend my bid for 100 into 2013, but I think that I should be able to get at least 13 more by year's end.

10. Sign up for a French class. If we're going to move there, speaking the language would likely help...bonjour France!

11. Start a daily writing practice. My time is limited these days, but writing is one of the things that brings me the most joy, and I need to give myself time and space to do it every single day.

12. Use every single wedding gift we got at least once!

13. Create a personal blog. I have a couple of ideas on this, but I'd like to get something up and running to launch January 1.

Eek! It's all exciting, and overwhelming all at the same time. I better get to work!

How about you? Anything you're excited to tackle before year's end? I dare you to share your list in the comments!

PS. Thanks to Jo at August Empress for inspiring this list!

friday's confession: I have a part-time job.

In the past week, I've had two independent conversations where I've been told "Wow. It's like you're living a secret life that nobody knows about."

Say what?

Note: The whole reason that I write my friday's confessions is because I think it's so important to be transparent, that we can all learn from each other, that we are all actually struggling with the same things.

I'm here, today (happy friday!) to tell you: I have a part-time job.

*jaws drop*

It's true: Every morning, Monday through Friday, I get up and go sit at a desk at a San Francisco non-profit for a few hours before I bring myself back for afternoons filled with coaching.

Yes, it's difficult to compartmentalize both.

Yes, it currently takes me *way too long* to respond to most of my coaching business emails.

Yes, it's still worth it.

The reality is that having this part-time gig shows that I'm 100% dedicated to my coaching business. I'm dedicated and realistic - I know that building a business takes time and that you don't always see the money flow in right away.

I know that getting myself into a financial bind and having to take a full-time job to get out of it isn't what I want to do.

I know that seeds are being planted that will allow me to (soon!) only do my coaching full-time.

I know that having this job, the extra income, and stability is how I take care of myself. I'm not willing to live on not enough money each month in service of doing what I love. I'm not willing to get myself into gobs of debt so that I can build my business. I'm not willing to settle for not being able to take care of my basic needs.

And I don't think that any of us should have to.

And so, I've created this for myself.

Do I often wish that I had more time to blog and write and get inspired? Absolutely.

Do I dream of spaciousness in my life to do things with deliberate abandon? Hell yes.

And do I trust that, although it might be getting built slower than impulsive-me would like, that this is really the best way for me and my life? I undoubtedly do.

a guest post: making dreams come true

Hello friends! Today I have a guest post to share from Ashley of Your Super Awesome Life - she's here to tell her story of how she found her way as a coach and is building her dream business. Thank you, Ashley, for sharing your story!

When I made the decision to become an Inspiration Coach, it wasn't just a decision. It was exploring this new space where I felt unlimited energy and pursuing a dream that had been begging to be noticed for the past two years.

But the thing about this particular dream was that it felt like a diamond inside me and acknowledging its existence and shining a light on it made it shine brighter.

Of course, like any diamond, this dream needed to be polished, which meant that it needed a plan to grow into fruition.

This plan included doing the research, gaining the knowledge and acquiring the skills necessary to build a strong foundation as a coach. It included countless hours of (unpaid) experience and training, networking, and collaborating, as well as creating enough white space to allow my creativity to flourish. It included building up the confidence to take that first step, and then actually taking it.

I finally launched Your Super Awesome Life two months after my initial decision to actively pursue this dream. The overflowing excitement, adrenaline, and support kept me going when I felt scared and exhausted. (And let me tell you, it was so scary!)

So, I took another step. I continued blogging. I offered my services and I shared my products. My little business began to grow, one step after another.

I was living my dream! It felt like my life was in alignment and I exuded confidence, joy, and peace.

And then I hit a wall.

I'm sure it's wall you are familiar with. It's the wall where the vampires, inner critics, and mean girls hang out. It's the wall where you're flooded with feelings of self-doubt, insecurity, and shame.

I began to wonder if my services were as good as other coaches. What made me think I could be a coach and share my love and wisdom with the world? Why did I believe I was capable of this and worthy of following my dream? What made me think I was good enough?

Fighting this battle was my biggest struggle. It meant leaning on my incredible support system when I wasn't strong enough to stand on my own. It meant digging deep, learning how to own my awesomeness and accept my flaws. It meant finding my voice in a crowded virtual world and proudly stating that yes, I'm the girl who dances to Hanson.

It meant learning to love myself all over again and sharing that with you. Because, isn't that the point of all this? To share our struggles so that we know we aren't alone?

So, even though I'm only six months into my journey as an Inspiration Coach, I know I am following the path that leads me toward a life I love.

My hope is that you are too. You totally deserve it.

***

Ashley Wilhite is the founder and force behind Your Super Awesome Life, a site for women who want to live a life they love. With a master’s degree in Psychological Counseling and 1500+ hours with clients, Ashley can help you answer that tough “Who am I?” question, and inspire you to begin living in a way that reflects your deepest, truest, most super awesome hopes and dreams. When she’s not writing, coaching, and dreaming up new ideas, Ashley can be found practicing yoga, drinking iced coffee,  and having dance parties in her living room. Sign up for a free weekly dose of awesomeness and your own soul-shakin' manifesto here.

what you don't know.

Something sad has happened to one of my friends.

In fact, it seems like in the past few months, year even, a few sad things have happened to a few of my good friends. Things that are life-alteringly sad, rock-your-world sad, never-going-to-be-the-same sad.

I bring this up not to talk about what the sad is or who the people are (don't overthink it, you don't know them), but to illustrate a point that I think needs to be made as we navigate this online world in which so many of us operate:

You have no idea what is going on behind the closed doors of someone else's life.

No idea.

I think that we all know this, we all get it, and yet, we all make the assumptions that we do know, based on social media and someone's twitter or facebook streams. We create these cartoon-happy lives for the people that we see and observe and interact with and while they may not be wrong, they are never ever completely accurate.

And yet, we use these lives as a litmus standard to how one should be and let the comparisons dictate what we do for ourselves. We look with disdain at our own closed-door lives and the things that come in and the people and issues we hold space for and think, "Oh, I could never have what (insert current online celebrity) has because my life is (insert whatever is currently happening in your life)."

It's all made-up. It's a made-up story that you tell yourself based on the made-up story that another person is putting out into the world through a website that only lets you give out information in 140-character bursts.

Twitter is simply a communication tool, not real life.

So please, PLEASE remember this when you are feeling down about where you are in your own life or your business. Please remember this when you make assumptions about how other people live, about how they have it easy or are lazy or are just not working hard enough.

Please remember it when that cloud of judgement starts convincing you to believe a story that is made-up and step back from the situation and send that person love and light. And know that we are all out in this world doing our best.

thought of the day.

That's right. Don't forget.

I was so excited when the sweet (and super talented!) Danielle Donaldson reached out to me and asked if she could make on of my "thoughts of the day" into a painting. I said "Oh heck yes!" in a heartbeat...and isn't this gorgeous? Thanks Danielle!