make out with YES.

We all know about the power of yes. About how compelling it can be to raise your hand and say yes to something and trust that you’ll figure it all out and be just fine. 

But what if, rather than gingerly dipping your toe into the calm surface, you cannonballed into the deep end of yes?

What if you make out with YES, the sloppy, one-drink-too-many kind of making out, reckless and hurried – where you give yourself up to it, reveling in the unknown, in the thrill, in the possibility of what’s to come?

Which would you rather do?

How might things shift for you if, for just one week, you said yes, not in a cautious way, but in a “Look out world, here I come, and it’s going to be AMAZING.” Kind of way?

Cause, baby, you’re that good. And you’re that hot. And you’re that can’t-fail-cause-you’re-just-too-fucking-fantastic.

Ready to get out of your own way?

*Graphic by Erin Cassidy for Tiffany Han Coaching

A letter from our daughters.

You may not realize it, but you are teaching me all the time.

Every time you second guess yourself, you are telling me that it’s okay not to have faith in my instinct.

Every time you turn away from your beloved in anger or sadness or frustration or boredom, you are telling me that it’s okay to be in a relationship that doesn’t illuminate me.

Every time you apologize for an emotion or for looking a certain way, you are telling me that it’s okay to offer excuses for how I feel and how I look.

Every time you criticize your body, you are telling me that beauty is found on the outside and that I may never live up to your standard.

Every time you acquiesce because you just can’t fucking deal with it right now, you are telling me that settling for fine is good enough.

Every time you conform to a life that is less than remarkable, you are telling me that’s okay, that’s how it’s done, and that’s what you have to do. 

But when you sing out loud, no matter what, you are telling me that my voice matters.

When you speak up for yourself through the tears in your eyes, you are telling me that I am worth more.

When you refuse to apologize for your life and for your feelings and for your actions, you are telling me that I can be anything and do anything in this life and that I don’t have to wait for someone else to hand it to me.

When you delight in your own being, you are telling me that I can, not only, give myself that kind of love but that I’m deserving of it from others.

And when you live your life for yourself, surrounded by only things that make you come alive, not settling for less than amazing, not willing to compromise on your values and principles, you are not only handing me the keys to my own extraordinary life, but providing me with the how to guide as well.

You are teaching me all the time. And you get to write the lessons.

*Photo & Graphic by Erin Cassidy

moving beyond the buzz and into PURPOSE.

In early November, I got a Facebook message from the lovely Stephanie Lee, saying, "My gut keeps telling me that I have to call you! Can we talk?"

How could I say no to something like that?

So we talked. Over the phone. On a Sunday afternoon. For 2 hours.

The call didn't have the direct purpose of creating a course, it was more about connecting, talking about ideas that we had in common. There were a lot of "Oh, me too!"s and "Ugh, don't you hate it when..."s and "I hear that ALL the time"s and "What does that even mean?"s. Through the course of the two hours, we realized we were on to something.

And thus, You, On Purpose: Rhetoric Recovery was born.

Whether you are a creativity junkie, an established (or wannabe-established) professional artist, a retreat organizer, a teacher, a day-job dreamer, an aspiring work-from-home writer, a life coach or cubicle-bound paper magician, creativity is in your DNA.

Creative fulfillment is your birthright. You deserve to know exactly how your creative gifts will show up in the world and how they can be of service to yourself and others. You deserve to identify, embrace, and embody those gifts specific to you.

It is time for you to take control of your creative dreams.

Class starts on Monday, January 7. We'd love for you to join us. (Seriously, it's time. You are SO READY to do this.)

PS. Congratulations to Susie Seitz-King for winning the poster giveaway! Susie, please email me with your address and the poster will be on its way to you.

my word for 2013 and a giveaway!

As I look back on this past year, what stands out to me is the intensity of my commitments - be it to my marriage, my coaching business, my part-time job - I went all-in on a LOT of things this year. And what I realized is that when you're going all-in everywhere, your bets get spread thin.

What I want for 2013 is to trim the fat, cleanse the clutter and step into a more vibrant life for myself. What I want for 2013 is to SHINE.

As I came up with this word, I realized that it was less about the doing and more about letting my brilliance come through - without all of the stuff that can dull my day-to-day life - the stuff that leads me to feel tired, overworked, and slightly depressed.

I'm ready to move beyond that, into my shine.

In honor of this, I'm giving away one of my hand-made "Shine on, you crazy diamond!" posters - pictured above! I made this poster at a recent letterpress class (I've fallen back in love with letterpress btw!)

To enter, just leave a comment below letting me know your word for 2013, or if you don't believe in this little tradition and just want a free poster, let us know your favorite word ever. Comment by 10am PST on Friday, January 4. A winner will be drawn at random ~ International peeps, you're welcome to enter too!

What are you ready for more of in 2013?

**Update: Thank you all for entering and congratulations to Susie Seitz-King for winning the poster giveaway! Susie, please email me with your address and the poster will be on its way to you.


what to do if you aren't ready.

I know that some of you read this blog and feel a tug.

I know that some of you do Big Thing sessions with me and feel a tug.

I know that some of you say that they want to work with me because you feel this tug.

And I know that some of you aren't ready yet.

Are you one of them? One of the "what if it could be different" wonderers? Are you one of the people who feels that tug but is too tired or resistant or bogged down in the NOW to take that step?

Know that it's okay. Know that you are on your path, that you're making those steps. Know that even if you aren't ready now, you will be one of these days. Keep reading, keep wondering. Keep moving toward the light of the things that spark you up in your life.

Keep moving forward, doing what you do, and trust that one day you'll be ready. And when you are, holyshit, you'll know it. It will hit you like a bolt of lightning.

You'll know that you can't spend another day with things as they are, that you have no choice but to move forward into action. You'll know that it's time.

And when you know, things will happen. You'll take the steps. Support (whether it's me or someone else) will be there. The world will open up to you.

And until then, keep finding that light. Name that light. Trust that light. It's more powerful than you know.

13 before 2013


Things I'd like to do before 2013:

1. Write and post at least 13 blog posts.

2. Launch my first group coaching experience (coming later this week...omg!) (UPDATE: It's launched and registration is open!)

3. Learn something new - I keep coming back to this online class, and just registered for a workshop here.

4. Have at least one day where I have nothing (NOTHING!) planned.

5. Go somewhere overnight with Tim. I'm ready for a 24-hour reconnection break.

6. Start a daily offering - either a phone line or affirmation or pep talk. I'm still working out the details, but this sounds super fun to me.

7. Watch the final Twilight movie - I can't wait to see Bella as a vampire!

8. Buy a pair of cowboy boots. I've been wanting a pair of these for so long. It's time.

9. Get 13 rejection letters - I'm going to have to extend my bid for 100 into 2013, but I think that I should be able to get at least 13 more by year's end.

10. Sign up for a French class. If we're going to move there, speaking the language would likely help...bonjour France!

11. Start a daily writing practice. My time is limited these days, but writing is one of the things that brings me the most joy, and I need to give myself time and space to do it every single day.

12. Use every single wedding gift we got at least once!

13. Create a personal blog. I have a couple of ideas on this, but I'd like to get something up and running to launch January 1.

Eek! It's all exciting, and overwhelming all at the same time. I better get to work!

How about you? Anything you're excited to tackle before year's end? I dare you to share your list in the comments!

PS. Thanks to Jo at August Empress for inspiring this list!

what you don't know.

Something sad has happened to one of my friends.

In fact, it seems like in the past few months, year even, a few sad things have happened to a few of my good friends. Things that are life-alteringly sad, rock-your-world sad, never-going-to-be-the-same sad.

I bring this up not to talk about what the sad is or who the people are (don't overthink it, you don't know them), but to illustrate a point that I think needs to be made as we navigate this online world in which so many of us operate:

You have no idea what is going on behind the closed doors of someone else's life.

No idea.

I think that we all know this, we all get it, and yet, we all make the assumptions that we do know, based on social media and someone's twitter or facebook streams. We create these cartoon-happy lives for the people that we see and observe and interact with and while they may not be wrong, they are never ever completely accurate.

And yet, we use these lives as a litmus standard to how one should be and let the comparisons dictate what we do for ourselves. We look with disdain at our own closed-door lives and the things that come in and the people and issues we hold space for and think, "Oh, I could never have what (insert current online celebrity) has because my life is (insert whatever is currently happening in your life)."

It's all made-up. It's a made-up story that you tell yourself based on the made-up story that another person is putting out into the world through a website that only lets you give out information in 140-character bursts.

Twitter is simply a communication tool, not real life.

So please, PLEASE remember this when you are feeling down about where you are in your own life or your business. Please remember this when you make assumptions about how other people live, about how they have it easy or are lazy or are just not working hard enough.

Please remember it when that cloud of judgement starts convincing you to believe a story that is made-up and step back from the situation and send that person love and light. And know that we are all out in this world doing our best.

on finding The One.

 


On January 14, 2007, I made a list in my journal. I was tired of the shitty boyfriends, and the boring dates and the does-he-like-me of it all. I was tired of settling. I was tired of letting go of what I wanted.

So I made a list called My Ideal Partner wherein I wrote out all of the things that were important to me in my next relationship, all of the things that I was no longer willing to compromise on.

On May 31, 2007, I met Tim. My life was forever changed. I grew, stretched, was challenged beyond what I knew to be possible, and slowly grew into my best self yet.

On September 15, 2012 I married my list. We made promises to lift each other up, delight in our lives together, and always be each other's family in all of our adventures together. This is only the beginning.

My Ideal Partner, dated January 15, 2007 (completely unedited)

1.Someone who will treat me as if I am his favorite thing in the world.

2. Someone who will be curious about my passions and want to share those things with me.

3. Someone who will want to get me meaningful gifts for my birthday. 

4. Someone who will want to/be able to make plans with me and someone who is able to make plans and follow through with them for himself.

5. Someone who will respect my family and recognize that they are important to me.

6. Someone who will make an effort to get to know my friends.

7. Someone with the humor to surprise me every day and always make me laugh.

8. Someone who has a profound amount of trust in me and my ability to make good choices for myself.

9. Someone who is capable of taking care of himself - physically, financially, emotionally.

10. Someone who wants me to be at my personal best - physically, financially, emotionally.

11. Someone who values physical health.

12. Someone who is passionate about things in his own life and wants to share those with me.

13. Someone who will someday be a father to my children and whom I can trust to be my complete partner in all the decisions that we will make together.

14. Someone who is compassionate and patient.

15. Someone who will take care of me as much as I take care of him.

16. Someone who brings out the best in me.

17. Someone who makes me feel great about myself.

Photo by Tiffany Schoepp. More to come...

21 more things you don't know about me.

1. I lost 17 pounds in the months leading up to my wedding.

2. Losing the weight was not hard, it was not a challenge, it was not something I struggled with.* Much.

3. At the same time, it required dedication - a dedication that had to shift from something else in my life.

4. Planning my wedding was the perfect excuse for me to say no to things that didn't light me up.

5. Now I realize that I can say no without an excuse. Something not lighting me up is excuse enough.

6. I am now wearing some of my old, skinnier clothes again, and it feels really nice.

7. Upon looking through some photos, I realized that the last time I was able to wear these "skinny" clothes was early last year, right before we started Teahouse.

8. It's no coincidence that I stopped taking care of my own body right around the time that I took on this huge project.

9. It's also no coincidence that the weight came off easily when I started to let go of some of the burden that this accidental business has created in my life.

10. It feels good to think about what my life will look like one year from now - things might be very different.

11. It's no longer scary that Teahouse may not be in that future, September 2013 picture.

12. This doesn't mean that Teahouse is going away or that I'm walking away completely.

13. But it might.

14. Finally being able to go there, to the unknown place, feels really good.

15. That unknown place is never as scary as you think it will be.

16. I know I am still meant to live a life of helping and inspiring other people.

17. I know that my dreams for my life are possible and that I now have the most amazing partner-in-crime that anyone could ask for.

18. The bigness of the Future used to scare me, now it delights and intrigues me.

19. I find solace in the not knowing and take comfort in the fact that my life could go in a yet-unimaginable direction.

20. The wedding wasn't the end, it was just the beginning.

21. If I can do it, you can do it. There is no difference between the two of us. I promise.

***

Read Part 1 of this series here.

*Because I know you're wondering: my weight loss plan mostly involved lots of vegetables, limited starchy carbs and booze, and as much Jillian Michaels as I could stand.


the "be brave" fallacy

What if it's not about being brave?

We spend so much time hearing the same message: be brave, go out there and fight for what you want. Fight.

I'm guilty of it too - I say it all the time. Be brave, get fierce.

But what if being brave isn't the key? What if bravery actually has nothing at all to do with accomplishing your dreams?

What if the key is to be gracious, open, and accepting? What if the answer is in knowing - from a deep, core place - that the world wants your gifts to come out?

People are hungry for what you have to offer. Especially when it comes from your deeply authentic capital-t Truth.

Your voice - when you are speaking up for something that you believe in completely unapologetically - is the most beautiful voice anyone has ever heard.

Your images - when they are created from a place of absolute release, when inspiration is simply flowing through you - are images that people cannot take their eyes off. They cannot be ignored.

Your words - when you are writing despite shaking hands, when you fear the passion that drives your thoughts, and when the thought of not putting them into the world is even scarier than releasing them - these words have deep intense power to them.

Your voice, your images, your words: whatever your medium is - this is what the world needs. More of You.

More heart, more passion, more holy-shit this is it.

And yes, there has to be courage. Courage to look beyond the now, to know that some people will disagree, to trust that what is right for you is absolutely not the same truth as others. But this is different from the courage that drives one into battle. This is the courage that brings you to a place of absolute joy.