friday's confession: my internet penis is small

I had an experience recently where someone asked me to participate in a program she was running. After exchanging emails, having a phone call and her telling me that I'd be perfect for what she was putting together,* she ultimately let me know that "ooh sorry" my email list wasn't big enough to warrant a spot in her project. 

Um. Okay. 

For a split second, I felt bad. Like I all-of-a-sudden wasn't good enough. Or popular enough. Or cool enough to sit at the lunch table where she had originally invited me to sit. It's like she found out that my what-she-thought-were-Guess jeans came from Wal Mart. 

Then I got pissed. Because there is an implication in the online world that if you don't have a huuuuge list that you are nothing. Or if you haven't reached a certain threshold of Etsy sales, you aren't successful. Or if you don't have as many facebook friends or likes or shares as another person, you are less than. 

And that is straight-up bullshit. 

So what that I have a small internet penis? So what that my mailing list isn't staggering? It may be small but it is MIGHTY. The people I interact with are my favorite people in the world. They read what I have to say! And respond! And are sweet and funny and like to dance and sparkle! 

I would not trade them for thousands of followers. Ever. 

And if you are someone who is stuck in the But-I-don't-have-enough place of whereever you are, remember this: you start with 1. And then you add 1. That gets you to 2. And then you keep adding from there. Every single 1 counts. 

The best way to get ahead in this world: Treat each and every one of them like they matter. Like they matter a lot. 

Because even though we operate in a world where it's all about the bottom line and numbers are your metrics, every single one of your people is a human being. 

A human being who wants to connect. And feel something. And who doesn't want another fucking generic formula that might be {great! world-renowned! proven for millions!} for getting followers but is lacking on the relationship side of things. 

Y'all, I promise you: My internet penis may be small, but I will get you off. Each and every time.

Because when I show up, I show up. No matter how big the audience. 

*I'm being vague here on purpose as I don't want anyone pointing internet-fingers. But, for the record, this was not someone I'd ever met or have an established relationship with. 

**photo by me; graphic by Erin Cassidy for Tiffany Han Coaching