friday's confession: some people don't like me.

Your use of the "f" bomb was completely uncalled for.

Your language is horrible especially for a coach. Where were your parents when you grew up?

This email was offensive.

According to the feedback I’ve gotten in my coaching business, I curse too much. I am offensive. My parents deserve shame for me turning out to way I did. (Seriously?)

But then I also get:

You are a breath of fresh air!!

You write the truth.

As always, your posts give me chills...I adore you!

So what do I do? Do I stop saying things like, “You fucking rock.”

For every single person who’s offended by that, 10 more are inspired. And encouraged.

Do I curse on purpose to be purposefully divisive? No. This is just how I talk.

I also know that people who are internet-skimming will notice a well-placed f-bomb. And that is my fucking job: to get people’s attention. To pull them out of their internet-induced haze and open their eyes to what else life could be. To say hey- I know you’re stuck in some old patterns, but your life can be different.

It is also my job to lead by example. How can I encourage my beautiful mess creatives to follow their whims, live out loud and chase their dreams unapologetically if I am constantly censoring myself?

Once you start worrying about who you’re offending, you automatically live on the defensive. There are so many things about my life that are offensive to at least someone: my husband is Korean and I am not. I support marriage equality. I enjoy eating cruchwrap supremes from Taco Bell. I gladly eat peanut butter that contains added sugar.

And to the people who want to find all of these things offensive, I say what-thefuck-ever.

I am a good person. I inject love and inspiration and enthusiasm into this world on the daily. And I cannot live my life in accordance to any other person’s standards. Mine are high enough and they are my own.

There will always be someone who judges you. Especially in this online world in which most of us operate.

That doesn’t mean you have to change the way you live your life.

The Q for you: Are you willing to possibly offend in order to say out loud the things you need to say?

**photos by Stefanie Renee; graphic by Erin Cassidy for Tiffany Han Coaching


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