on feeling alive, or alove!
Reverb 10 prompt #3: Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).
>Whoa. Pick one moment? That really feels like a lot of pressure. I've been thinking about this for since yesterday, and there are just so many moments of last year that I don't think I can narrow it down to one. Instead, I'd like to share with you one of the moments of last year where I felt most alive. One of many many amazing moments.
As an aside, I just mistyped alive and wrote alove instead. Maybe I should invent a new word, it's like you're alive with love! You're alove!
Tim and I went to see the amazing Avett Brothers at a venue called the Mountain Winery earlier this year. The venue is about 90 minutes away, down towards the South Bay and is an amazing place to see a show. It's at the top of a hill, on a winery, and there are views for miles. It's a small venue, so shows always feel quite intimate, no matter who's performing.
In regards to this show, there's only one problem with the Mountain Winery: there are seats.
And I'd never been to an Avett show where there were assigned seats before. I'd always seen them at outdoor festivals, or bars, or general admission venues where I could stand and bounce and dance my little heart out when I got caught up in the music.
And I always get caught up in the music. It's like I can't keep the boogie out of my soul.
So, seats. What to do? We were only a few rows back and dead center, so I was really aware of all the people behind me, all the people whose views I'd be wrecking if I caught the boogie and had to stand up to dance. Aware that I'd be "that girl" at the show who stood in everyone else's way of enjoying themselves.
Sitting in that seat was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life.
Until -- there was a ray of hope. The boys started into a fast-paced song. I think it was Kick Drum Heart for those of you paying attention, and all of a sudden one couple off to the side stood up. They stood up and started dancing because they couldn't hold back their boogie anymore.
And that was all the permission I needed. As soon as they were on their feet, I was up! And the enthusiasm spread from there. And oh, the freedom to actually be able to move. To be there with a crowd where everyone was moving and dancing and really just enjoying such a great moment.
In that moment, I felt alive. And everything felt right.
I think that's the commonality I noticed as I pondered this prompt and speculated about those moments in the past year when I've felt most alive: they've all involved a peaceful heart, laughter, doing what feels most natural at the time. They've involved being with amazing people who I'm close with, who fill my soul with their good conversation and energy. They've involved a freedom to be who I am and do what it is that I need to do, without worrying about other people and what they might think.
That's what feeling most alive feels like to me.