I hate running. I have never enjoyed running, yet, I am in the midst of training for a 10K race in three weeks. Running is something that I've always felt obligated to do. Why is it so hard to admit that we don't enjoy something that others enjoy? Why do we cover up part of our authentic selves out of a need to like or do something that other people like?
I love pilates. I always feel amazing after a pilates class and actually enjoy the soreness in my muscles the next day. I enjoy laughing even more when my abs are sore from a really strenuous class! But, I find myself forgoing pilates classes for my 10K training. But, while at first, I felt that I was pushing myself and challenging myself, now I just feel like I'm trying to be someone I'm not. Someone who is a runner.
So, now I vow to own it. I own that I don't like running. I own that I hate it and that I actually don't feel good (physically or emotionally) while and after doing it. So, I will acknowledge that and run my 10K race on June 21. I will then tuck my running shoes away and challenge myself to deepening my practice of pilates. I will vow to take 4-5 pilates classes a week and start working toward instructor training. I will vow to only do things that make me feel good about myself. I will vow to still challenge myself physically, but keep true to my authentic self while doing so. And, when others talk about running and training and races, I will not feel left out, for I will know that I am pushing myself in other ways and working toward a betterment of me.