I was 18 when I lost my virginity. It was towards the end of my freshman year of college.
I’d always planned to wait until I was in love. I thought that my first time should be special and wanted to hold out until I had found that right person. In my mind, it would be perfect.
Instead, I was a guy I’d been hooking up with for a while (which is not the same as dating unfortunately). I’d grown tired of hearing about all of my friends' exploits. I felt left out. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.
I was ready to get it over with already.
And honestly, y’all, it was meh.
It wasn’t bad, per se, but it wasn’t good either. It wasn’t the kind of toe-curling, exhaustion-inducing good that I now know it can be.
Instead, it was...fine. Just fine.
When I got home the next morning, I asked my friend Liz, “Is that what all the fuss was about?”
Is that what all the fuss was about?
Now, I’ve (luckily! gratefully!) learned that NO. Darling. That is SO NOT what all the fuss is about. The fuss is about so much more. (Thank goodness, right?)
The fuss is about connection and passion and surrender and release. It's about going all in, trusting yourself and the person you're with, and letting go. It's about magic. And pure complete joy.
It's not about just fine. It's not about doing it just to check a box, or say you've done it, or to get it over with. It's not about going through the motions without feeling. Without opening yourself up. Without being vulnerable to what is possible.
This is what I don’t want for your life. I don’t want you to go through life feeling meh or just fine or settling for the mediocre when the joy of living is available to you.
I don't want you to look back on your life someday and wonder, "Is that what all the fuss was about?"
I want you to know that life can be good and fun and passionate and possibility-laden no matter what.
I want you to spend your life seeking out the (metaphorical and literal) mind-blowing sex your deserve, not lying on your back wondering is it over yet?.
Because we are here to know what the fuss is all about: to love and to breathe and to move and to feel and to experience.
There’s so much that we’ve held back from ourselves. So much that we’ve kept ourselves from trying because our day-to-day lives are filled to the brim with the meh and the just fine.
And at the of the day, the meh doesn't actually get us anywhere but one day older.
PS. I am THRILLED to announce that registration is now open for my next fall round of group coaching. This is the last time I'll offer this program until next summer, so if you're ready to start living all in, this is your chance. Get the deets and sign up here. I can't wait to work with you!