when things fall apart...

You know, I try my hardest to be so very positive on this blog. It's all about being happy, living your happiest life and I am a damned cheerful person, so it usually is very easy for me to find something positive to write about.

Except for today. Can we please just take a break from all the happy happy joy joy and talk about how my weekend was a bit of a shit-show? I had so many Serenity Now moments that I could probably apply for monkhood this morning.

Oy. Mercury is currently retrograde until September 12 (September 12?!?!?!?!) and I was feeling it all day Friday and Saturday. And not in a good way, let me tell you!

According to my source, Since Mercury rules communication, it's said that everything goes haywire [during Mercury Retrograde] in that area -- emails get deleted or bounced back, mail is returned, calls go out into the ethers.

So here's the scene of a typical interaction this weekend.

Friday. Paper Store. Mercury Retrograde...go...

ME (to customer): Yes, this is a nice style of album. We currently have this one in either brown or green.

CUSTOMER: Ooh good. I really like it. I'll take it in red.

ME (smiling): Oh, I wish we had it in red. Unfortunately, the only colors we currently have in stock are brown and green.

CUSTOMER: Oh, that's okay. I'll take blue then.

ME (deep breath): No, sorry, we don't have it in blue right now for this style.

(Looks at customer, patiently waiting for her to catch on. She doesn't)

ME: We currently only have it in brown and green. You'll need to choose on of those two colors. 

CUSTOMER: Oh, so no orange? I really like the orange color too.

ME: Um, nope. Just brown and green. Like I mentioned earlier.

CUSTOMER: Oh, got it. So I'll take it in red then. 

Y'all. For reals. I felt like I was speaking to her in German or something. I wish I could say this conversation was an exaggeration of what actually took place, but really, I spared you...the actual convo was about 3 times longer that what I've transcribed above. 

And it really went on and on and on...all weekend long. It went on so much that I just started going with it. I'd approach people knowing that they wouldn't actually understand a word of this crazy language I was speaking and that things weren't going to come easily. And laughing at it all actually made me feel so much better, although I don't know how it made everyone else feel!

And that's all I've got! See? I complain! I'm not just roses and sunshine all the time!! I promise! 

PS. Happy Monday! I hope your weekends were much much better than mine! xo