When I was unhappy in my day job, I was a SHOPPER. Like big time. I justified it by saying "oh, I love shoes!" and "I have to have appropriate clothes for work" but, really, I was bored. And tired. And buying new things gave me a rush that not much else in my life did.
These days: yes, I do still love shoes. And enjoy looking at pretty clothes and thinking about outfits. But I spend so much less money on stuff just for the sake of getting stuff.
I've learned that the spending doesn't fill me up. Just like the eating doesn't fill me up. And the drinking doesn't fill me up.
This time of year, we focus on our new year's resolutions - what are the things we are unhappy about in our lives? What are the areas we should change?
Most often, these revolve around consumption. Spending less. Eating less. Drinking less. But the New Year's resolutions keep not working.
Because instead of focusing on the root cause of the action, we are focused on the behavior.
Want to spend less money on random stuff? Find a hobby that truly makes your heart sing and spend your time doing that.
Want to eat less crappy food? Start a gratitude practice around loving your body no matter what size and shape it is.
Want to get organized and focused and finally have your shit together this year? Stop saying yes to things that don't light you up so that you have time to focus on what does.
New Year's resolutions don't work. Because New Year's resolutions make you wrong. Because New Year's resolutions say that you've gotten in trouble and need to be punished.
Because New Year's resolutions say that you don't know what's best for you. That you can't take care of yourself. That you can't be trusted.
And that's all bullshit. You aren't wrong. You aren't in trouble. You do know what's best for yourself, and you can be trusted to make good decisions.
Are you ready to believe it?
**graphic by Erin Cassidy for Tiffany Han Coaching